


Your Crystal Ball Ain't so Crystal Clear

by BlackIris



Series: 500 Garden Party Extravaganza! [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Norse Religion & Lore, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: But so is Reader, F/M, Reader-Insert, Sabotage, Sarcasm, Swearing, fluff?, lady!loki, loki is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 19:17:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15226065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackIris/pseuds/BlackIris
Summary: Prompts will be in bold/used throughout fic:21. “At this point, my options are A) knit a scarf, or B) commit homicide.”38. “Are you even listening?”  /  “Yes, it just takes me a while to process so much stupid all at once.”42. “I have a solution.”  /  “Thank goodness.”  /  “It involves fire.”  /  “Absolutely not.”Additionally requested: Part of Avengers, on a mission that ends up being a trap, they try not to kill each other.





	Your Crystal Ball Ain't so Crystal Clear

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this came from, but it amused me and I hope it amuses you too!  
> Un-beta'd, enjoy!

You make your way through the compound. The hall lights are lowered to power saving mode, or so it seems, thanks to Loki’s magic. 

“Rogers told me it’s the second door on the left from here.”

“Of course, he did.”

“Well, I’m sorry he has an eidetic memory. I can’t help it if he’s been here before.”

“You went over the plans with him?”

“Of course, I went over the plans with him! You were in the room. I thought you were paying attention.”  

“I was not.”

“Not paying attention or not in the room?”

Loki simply smiles at you.

“Why am I not surprised?” You sigh. “Do you even know what we’re supposed to be doing here?”

“Naturally.” Loki shrugs. “Creating chaos – what I do best.”

“Why do I keep getting paired with you for missions? I swear one day it’ll get me killed.”

“Don’t sound so upset, it would be an awfully good adventure.”

“Do you mean dying? As in death? Death would be a good adventure?”

“To die would be. Do you not remember who you’re speaking with?”

You roll your eyes, trying to ignore Loki as you make your way to the room Steve had noted. Just as you reach the threshold, you stumble over something, falling to your hands and knees, anger coursing through your veins at the delayed pain of hitting the floor. 

“Admit it, Y/N. You’ve fallen for me.” Loki chuckles, offering you a hand to help you up. 

Huffing you swat his hand away. “I didn’t fall for you, Loki. You fucking tripped me.” You stand up, dramatically brushing yourself clean of any dust. 

“Alright fine, don’t allow me to help you. This will just continue to go swimmingly, I can tell already.”

You turn towards a computer bay, willing yourself not to lose what’s left of your cool. “You can help me by making sure this mission gets completed quickly. Just do your job.” 

“Hm. Why didn’t you say so beforehand? Here I thought we were just out for a stroll, possibly get our nails done. You know, gab and catch up like girlfriends.” Loki smirks, a wave of green rippling around him transforming him into his preferred female form. 

“You did not just say ‘gab.’” You roll your eyes. “And we’re not girlfriends.” 

Now taking interest in her nails, Loki doesn’t look up at you, obviously lost and fascinated with her current cuticle situation. 

“Loki would watch the door…” You turn to look at Loki and do a double take at her new form. “Oh, for fuck sake! Really? Now? While we’re supposed to be sabotaging this facility? What did you break a nail?”

“Not at all.” Loki says, looking up to you. “I’m just waiting for an apology. You know you can be rather rude; and I’ve quite had enough.”

“Okay.  _Lokisha_.” You say, taking a low bow. “I am truly sorry. Whatever you wish, I will do all in my power to make it right, to win your heart back, my queen.”

Loki arches a brow at you. “To win it in the first place.”

You rise to your full height, a more serious note taking over your features. “Look, I’m sorry alright. For some reason you just get under my skin sometimes okay? Now can we get back to this, so that we can leave?”

“An odd apology, but it will do for now.” Loki says, pursing her lips in thought. “Perhaps we can come to an agreement later, so these things will go more smoothly.”

“That sounds,” You swallow what’s left of your pride, knowing that any spill of emotions will ruin this possible cease fire. “Doable. I think that’d be good. For both of us.”

“As do I.”

“Can I start with this now?”

Loki nods her head, a smirk barely playing at her lips as a ripple of green magic washes over her turning her back into the form you’re most used to.

You sigh, smiling to yourself as you turn towards the computers.  Initiating part one of your mission, you tap away at one of the key boards setting up a few alarms to go off in various parts of the facilities.

Moments go by in near silence, your fingers on the keys the only noise.

“Are you done yet?” Loki asks from the door way, clearly bored as usual. The moment of peace between you quickly forgotten.  He’s watching the hall and hasn’t given you a moment of thought since you turned towards the computers.

“Almost.” Dramatically tapping the last few keys, you turn to him with a big smile across your face. “Ready for part two?”

“Not quite.” Loki turns in towards you and the room, not letting you pass. “Something’s wrong.”

“Yeah. The alarms I set off.” You say slowly not understanding his concern. “That’s part one.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Then what do you mean?”

“I believe we’ve been set up.”  

Loki gently pushes you away from the door, closing it in silence.  He sweeps out a hand towards it, sending wisps of green magic out making the door melt and transform into the wall.

You huff indignantly. “What the hell is wrong with you? Bring the door back.”

“Something is wrong. I can feel it in the air. The moment you started with that machine, forces were being pulled towards us.”Loki asks, arching a brow at you, **“Are you even listening?”**

 **“Yes.”** You blink hard.  **“It just takes me a while to process so much stupid all at once.”**

“It’s not stupid if it’s saving your life.”

“My life? I thought you were the one with the death wish.”

“I have no death wish. I merely meant that it –“

“It doesn’t matter what you ‘meant’ you’ve just trapped us in here!”

“It’s better than what awaits us on the other side of that door!”

“But there is no door! Thanks to you!”

You point angrily at him about to continue when Loki places a finger to his lips, shushing you. Sounds from the hall barely register in your now door less room.

Loki nods to where the door used to be, sweeping his hand towards it again, allowing you both to see through the wall. Dozens of armed guards rush past in the hall.

“There’s not supposed to be nearly that many people in here today.” You gasp.

Loki has the decency not to say anything, sweeping his arm back, allowing the wall to go opaque again.

You turn, moving behind him and over to a closet, riffling through it trying to find something to distract yourself or to use as a weapon for whenever this all will hit the proverbial fan.

“Whatever are you doing?”

 **“At this point, my options are A) knit a scarf, or B) commit homicide.”** You sigh, pulling cords out of the closet. “And seeing as how you are my best bet to get out of this place alive, option A it is.”

“Knit. A scarf.” Loki looks at the various cables and cords you’ve pulled from the closet. “You’re not serious.”

“Obviously not. But I figured there’s a window and we might as well try to get out that way.”

“That’s your best game plan?”

“I don’t see you coming up with anything.” You call out from the depths of the closet, hoping to find some hidden treasure or at least buy yourself some needed solitude.

**“I have a solution.”**

**“Thank goodness.”** You roll your eyes sarcastically and make your way out of the closet as gracefully as you can manage.

Loki smirks, **“It involves fire.”**

“Why wouldn’t it?” You mutter to yourself, turning to him fully.  **“Absolutely not.”**

“I start a fire, in several locations. The building must empty, as is protocol. We escape, disguised similarly to those we saw running past here earlier.”

“I…” You try to form a descent thought of protest or any full sentence to negate what Loki’s just said.

“It is literally the quickest way for us to escape this. It’s the perfect distraction.” Loki says, his smile gone fully wicked. “You can’t tell me I’m wrong. Not now. Though I know it is your favorite pass time.”

“Can’t you just disguise us and not start a fire?”

“What fun would that be?” Loki looks at you as if you grew an extra head. “Besides, my idea is a win-win, we get out and cause damage.”

“You’re all about that sabotage, aren’t you?”

Loki chuckles, twirling his hands at his sides. His magic washes over the both of you, transforming you both into two middle aged men in tactical gear.

“Did you have to go full dude on me?” You ask, adjusting yourself awkwardly in the suit.

“And miss the expression on your new face?” Loki leans close to you and sneers. “Never.”

You lean away from him, your now scruffy face distorting in a grimace. “Why do I put up with your bullshit? Someone else on the team has to have more patients for you than I do.”

“Ah, that simply isn’t so and you know it.” Loki chuckles, his voice remaining his though his face and build are so different than what you’re used to, even with his habits of changing forms whenever the mood strikes him. “We’re perfect together. The sooner you realize this, the sooner we can truly have some fun on these tedious missions.”

“You think this is fun?” You wave to your unfamiliar form.

“Yes.” Loki laughs.

“Stop laughing! I don’t like this. Can we just go now?”

“You know you don’t have to put on the act when it’s just the two of us. I know how much you like me.”

“Loath you.” You correct him with a slight pout making him chuckle more.

“Darling, please. I know I can be a bit much, but you can’t hide your feelings from me.”

“I hide them for our sanity.”

“Give me a chance?”

“How about we get out of here first. Then we can have a sit and talk this shit out.” You look him in the eye, and for once you see honesty there. “I’m tired of having this overwhelming urge to stab you when we’re alone and on missions.”

Loki hums, licking his lips, his eyes flickering with mischief as he looks you up and down slowly. And just like that the moment is gone. “I have to say the feeling is mutual.”

You shudder and stare angrily at the ceiling realizing you left that one wide open for him.

“Fine. Whatever. Can we just?” You motion to the wall where the door once was. 

Loki smiles and flicks his wrist materializing the door back to its original state.

“After you, darling.” 


End file.
